Hey-o! It’s been awhile, so here’s a post from this largely absentee blogger….
On Sunday I was skimming through my newsfeed when I came across this article. I hadn’t heard of Anjali Ramkisson up until this point but apparently she is the young woman who has become notorious for berating and assaulting an Uber Driver in Florida a few months ago.
Full disclaimer: This post is not in support of Ms. Ramkisson nor her actions. Obviously, intoxicated or not, berating and assaulting someone are not excusable actions. This post is to point out the piles and piles of misogyny that were spewed towards her.
So yeah as I was reading about Dr. Ramkisson’s “temper tantrum” the news articles were already exhibiting sexist undertones, discussing her outfit and appearance. The comments were, unsurprisingly, outrageously misogynistic. People made degrading comments about her, claiming her female anatomy is the only reason she “got away with” her assault. Though I’d hardly say she got away with it, since she has been verbally degraded and abused by the internet and lost her job…. But some people thought she “got away with it” because she was not arrested and thrown in jail and that this would have been different, had she been a man. Maybe, maybe not. Stories about this incident state the Uber Driver declined to press charges. I don’t know Florida state laws but that does seem to imply that Florida is a state that allows victims to decide whether or not to press charges. Had this incident transpired some place where the state determines whether or not to press charges, then the outcome may have been different. Anyways to say that men get arrested for being violent and women don’t is, well, that is just BS.
And it only got worse from there. By far, the most disturbing comments are highlighted in this article and are a horrendous blend of misogyny and white supremacy. And then there’s this post that claims Dr. Ramkisson’s lack of arrest is evidence of “The Matriarchy.” The Matriarchy… this is part of the backlash to the feminist movement and feminism’s naming of The Patriarchy. Well a Patriarchy and a Matriarchy cannot both exist at the same time and feminism coined theirs first… so there. No I’m just kidding! But seriously what happened with Dr. Ramkisson does not demonstrate The Matriachy.
First of all, she didn’t get away with it, like I said before. No she wasn’t arrested and whether or not she should have been, the fact of the matter remains that there were consequences (significant ones) for her actions. If she got away with it, she would still be working her job, her reputation would not be completely tarnished and she would be going about her life as usual. That would have been getting away with it.
The author of the post above about the supposed matriachy, claims that criticism of his choice to label Anjali Ramkisson a slut is proof of the matriarchy. How exactly is standing up against the degradation of women proof of the matriarchy? Because, he says, people will respond more to his remarks than they will to the assault on the Uber driver. Ummm… yeah… NO, pretty sure the internet has already responded way more to her actions than to the blatant misogyny that emerged in the aftermath. But even if that is true then where is the public outrage, public humiliation and degrading comments over these attacks involving Uber drivers (one as the victim and one as the assailant)? Both attacks were significantly more severe but they both also involved male assailants and so there is a lot less reaction to both of them. A simple Google search of the two male assailants and Dr. Ramkisson can show that.
And about her reputation being tarnished, what exactly did that look like? Well if the links to racist, sexist comments above weren’t enough then consider the volume of disparaging comments about her physical appearance. Consider how many times she was called a slut, a skank, a c*nt… When men behave like Dr. Ramkisson did, they aren’t called such names. Why? Because insults of such a degrading magnitude do not exist for men. Ask a man, as a man, what is the worst thing he has been called – it probably has to do with implying he’s feminine because being like a woman is just *so* awful (according to The Patriachy). But if he ever was called something else, like an ass or a dick then he likely didn’t like it but he also likely wasn’t too shook up. Ask a woman if she’s been called a whore or c*nt and if she has been, which she probably has, then she was likely pretty shaken up, shamed and threatened by the experience. I should know because men have leered these vile words at me FOR NO REASON and I will not forget those moments, not ever. So why the discrepancy? Why are men able to cut women down with words but women can’t do the same to men? Not that I’d want to do that to men, nor would most women I know, but it’s an important question to consider. Because the answer is that we live in a patriarchy, not a matriarchy, and in a patriarchy men have power over women. This power differential is like all forms of oppression in which the words and actions of the oppressor towards the oppressed carry more weight and have more devastating consequences than if the oppressed tries to harm the oppressor. And if you think that’s a double standard and unfair, consider what it’s like for people who live with one or more types of oppression.